


to be known

by spheeris1



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Accepted Angst, F/F, Implied Death, Stream of Consciousness, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:02:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spheeris1/pseuds/spheeris1
Summary: drabble // villanelle p.o.v. // set in a possible future // Villanelle and Eve and the end





	to be known

/ / /

You know that once it is over, once you have what you've been aching for, there is a great chance that you won't ever need it again. This is how it tends to go, after all – you chase, you catch, you devour, you are done.

_Eve, glorious and wounded Eve. Oh, she looks good like this, a little bloody, a little feral. But then looking bad was never a thing Eve could do, not to you. Perhaps a little pedestrian, but it was never a problem, never a mountain you could not easily climb._

You know that once it is over, once you sink your teeth in and wrap her up in your arms, there is the definite possibility that you won't ever hold her again. This is how you tend to be – you want, you get, you tear them up and leave them behind.

_Eve, wonderful and silly Eve... oh, she looks so good and she is so close, close enough that you can breathe her in. Eve, with her chest heaving and eyes still somewhat needy... she's fucking beautiful, that much is very true. How could anyone not see that? How could anyone be so blind?_

You know that once it is over, once you really and truly have her, you may never want her again.

_“Eve...”_

But it rolls off your tongue oh so well, the one-note of her name, and something in her gaze is broken, as if you have shattered her and maybe you have – wouldn't that be a fine thing? To break Eve Polastri. And then it goes away, that second of timidity, replaced – as always – with something harder, something better than mismatched fragments, and what if it never ends?

What if you always want her?  
What if you get cracked and split along the way?  
What if, what if, what if?

Oh, you'd have to kill her then. 

And Eve knows it.

/

It's funny the lies you have told over the years.

From names to histories to locations, from smiles and tears alike. Every part of you has been remade – and then remade again. A constant state of creation, that's where you reside. It's to the point that, on the surface, you've forgotten whatever you were... long ago and so very far away...

You don't need to remember, though, do you?  
You are free of such things, aren't you?

Eve wants your past. Then again, they all do.

They want to peel back the layers of your mind and figure you out, a pretty little puzzle to solve. And you want them to know you, at least at first – it's flattering and it's flirtatious, it soothes you in some way you'd rather not define.

It is nice to be known, once in a while. To be as blank as paper as they lay you upon the table, fingers searching and finding, road-maps along your skin and destinations lingering in your eyes.

It's nice until it isn't.  
And then you become someone else again.  
And then they don't want to know you anymore.

/

_“...Please...”_

Eve, gorgeous and meddlesome Eve. Bored and brilliant Eve. Oh, she turns you inside out and it is delicious, this marvelous mess that the two of you have made, and she's asking you for something, something intangible and something hard to catch hold of.

_“...Please...”_

What if you don't have an answer for her?  
What if you are a mystery to yourself?  
What if what you want isn't possible?

_“...Please...”_

You know that once it is over, there won't be any chance of coming back – not for either one of you – because that's not how this story ends, not this tale of death and desire that you both have been writing down. And isn't it amazing? Isn't it horrible and absolutely perfect? 

You lick your lips, you taste blood and you laugh. And she's knows what you would have said, if there was ever any other way for things to go.

Because Eve Polastri knows you, doesn't she?

And you know what you have to do.  
And Eve knows it, too.

/ / /

**(end)**

**Author's Note:**

> I've been at home, sick, and listening to the new Beach House album. And this crept up on me. Thanks, in particular, to 'Girl of the Year' & 'Last Ride' by Beach House. Also, thanks to that Killing Eve trailer; you know the one.


End file.
